I am really going to just say this unedited. How can we not want our children to hear? How can we really believe that being deaf, not hearing, not being able to interact and meet strangers is okay and normal? Being deaf is not a choice, and Cochlear Implants is an option. During Ethan's birthday party, shared by all three boys, Ethan did not miss a beat. If he did not have Cochlear Implants he would have "adapted" to what is. But why? Why have to just accept and adapt when there is a chance to live a better quality of life.

You can not tell me, a very normal hearing person, who has never been shut off from the world, that being in a room full of friends and not being able to communicate is just your normal if you are deaf. It's adapting and working with what you have, but in reality I can't imagine Ethan not sitting, laughing at all the jokes and silliness he can hear through Cochlear Implants. When he was not hearing he would withdraw, watch, and there was this frustration and sadness in his eyes. He wanted to know what was going on, but could not understand. Being deaf was no glorious condition to embrace.

I have marveled every single day to watch as Ethan plays with his brother's. His leadership skills developed in our home through so much language. Listening to Ethan teaching his younger brother who is two, words, sentences, and songs. It can be argued that this all can be done through signing, but language happens every waking hour, not a class to learn two hours a week.

Ethan talks on the phone once a week to his oldest brother away at college. They talk about airplanes, and school and I marvel to think that this deaf boy is leading a very advanced life. He was smart long before he spoke his first words, but his frustrations, confidence, and ability to communicate limited him, giving him evaluation scores that depressed me. I could see the brilliance in him. He is about to finish kindergarten. He attends the same private school that his older brother and sister attended. He is reading, doing math, and well above average in his school reports. Had Ethan not had the implants I know for a fact this would not be the case. I have started and stopped every single program provided by the state for deaf children. Started with the hope that they would recognize, beyond Ethan being deaf, what a bright child he is, and then stopped when I realized that they saw him with a handicap and for some reason that handicap was attached to his intelligence. The way inwhich they would work with Ethan frustrated him, and then me.

There is more for our children because they are not limited to special classes. I get that for Ethan and I get that he is able to do more. He is becoming the normal for deaf children. It is a gift we provide for our children when they have that option. Would you say no to a child who needed glasses? Of course not? Why would we not offer the ability to hear either?

I was in a store recently and the woman in front of me was deaf. I watched as she tried to commuicate with the clerk and I could see her frustrations. I am so thankful that Ethan is blessed with the ability to hear. Yes he hears. He hears beautifully. He is functioning in a hearing world and it does not matter how he got there. It does not matter then when his devices come off each night and placed on the chargers that he is now deaf because 12 hours of his waking life he hears.

Can you tell I am very passionate about his hearing. I would love to kiss the brilliant man who invented Cochlear Implants and you know what I think my husband would kiss him too. LOL

I will choose......

...to obey my mommy x 20=discipline. LOL

Ethan has been acting out. I know, you must be thinking...what? A six year old acting out. The middle child of five, strong willed, and acting out? What kind of mother am I. If you look at the picture, not a bad one. As a matter of fact not a bad one at all.

Today Ehtan was acting out, and yesterday and even the day before. Minor offenses, but with Ethan you can not even for one second allow the minor ones to slip by because they will escalate so fast your will be wondering what? How? When?

Today Ethan did not obey a simple instruction. We have a manner around here that this mommy does not bend on. It's called first time obedience. None of this counting to three. In my opinion I would be giving my children three chances to disobey, when in reality the expectation is to obey now, not when the mood is right and not on the count of three. So a little disobedience bought me 30 minutes of blissful peace. I have recently started sentance writing with Ethan and it's working like a charm. Apparently as an older parent some of my marbles have slipped away.

I was talking to my oldest (20 year old son) who is away at college and told him I had Ethan writing sentances to which Elliot said..."I hated when you made me do that." "Sometimes you would make me copy entire books if I goofed off during my reading time." Why don't I remember those things. I must remember to call on my older two as reminders with the younger boys.

So Ethan wrote today "I will choose to obey mommy." It took him 30 minutes and he was a delightful boy. I mean the tongue curving just outside his mouth, which he does when he is concentrating. I am begging that he get into more trouble just to see him working so hard at his sentances. His printing is improving with each line. Darn he is playing nicely with his brothers ad no signs of behavior issues today.

My amazing boy

I was thinking today how Ethan is a typical almost six year old boy. (in a week he will be six). I am on a CI loop and few emails have been tossed around the word "normal". Is Ethan a "normal" kid? None of my children are normal or typical for that matter. They are each extraordinary. When I realized Ethan was deaf and the statistics posted below normal standards I knew where my challenge would be. How to grow Ethan in a world of being deaf, but still being able to see all the potential for extraordinary. I knew he was a problem solver, long before I knew he was deaf.



He would figure things out. Some babies get stuck and start to cry or whine for help, but not Ethan, he would wiggle, observe, and figure out how to get out of a bind. As early as eight months when he was an experienced crawler I could see his determination to figure things out on his own. Around ten months I put him at the top of the staircase, to see if he would bull doze over the edge. Nope, not Ethan. He carefully surveyed the land, backed away, and new his limits. He was taught very early to go down the stairs backwards. Okay this may all sound normal, but for our normal in our family this is truly extraordinary.



Ethan has never allowed his handicap, being deaf, to prevent him from figuring out what he wanted to know more of. This has amazed me in his process of learning to speak, read, and ask questions over and over about everything he hears. He wants to be in the know, and he gets when he is not and will push to know.





His cochlear implant has connected him to the same world that I am connected to and he appreciates being part of our world. He knew at three that his world was not the same. He knew, before his implant that he was missing out on things he should not miss out on. Getting his Cochlear Implant has amazed all of us. Ethan is so not normal, but he is amazing in every single way. Just as my other four children are.



Does living in a non-hearing world mean that he would have missed on on much. Absolutely!! Many will argue this to not be the case, how can I know as I am not deaf. But a deaf person's normal is very different from a hearing person's normal. And seeing the difference of who Ethan was being deaf, and who he is in a hearing world is a night and day difference. I am so blessed by his appreciation of his special ears. He knows he is deaf, and he knows he can hear with his devices on. He is just amazing and I know someday God is going to use him in huge ways.

Ethan's story

This is the story of a boy who completely amazes me every single day. With a handicap that started off with major set backs in his little life, but with the commmittment and hard work of a loving family he is doing above and beyond what we ever expected. This blog is about him. In hopes that other families with deaf children can learn, grow, and be inspired by Ethan's life.

Ethan will be six next month. He is now three years into having Cochlear Implants. He is bilateral and even with inplant setbacks he just does not settle or give up. In the blogs that unfold I will account the events of Ethan's life as a deaf child. I will share journal entrees, thoughts, insights and along the way the amazing things that this boy says and does.

It has not been an easy road. It has not been one of a perfect layed out plan. It has been one of trial and error. One of removing ourselves from all systems that seem acceptable to working directly with Ethan at home. I am just one parent with one specific experience. All of our roads can be the same, but how we walk, embrace, and take notice of the view is different for each one.

I am sure I will inspire, encourage, make some mad, and all in all this is our process. Differant than any one person. This is about Ethan and his walk through the process of being deaf. It's about me, his mother and how I faced the obstacles, trials and hard decisions.

Ethan is blessed with a large family. A very language rich environment and although your family may be simular, we are all truly different in every way. So come visit from time to time.

Blessings Ethan's mommy