And his miracle continues...

Ethan is deaf. You can go to this link to read up on his miracle http://elizabethonthego.blogspot.com/2008/03/monday-miracle.html.

This week he had his report card come home. He has the same first grade teacher that Emily had over 14 years ago. It's pretty cool to think that this teacher loves her job so much she would be there even for Ethan. In this picture are two awards. One for Honor Roll and the second for 2ND Highest Achiever. I cried when he brought these home. I realized that all the hard work with this kid just paid off in one moment. I remember feeling this very feeling with Emily. Both of these children are my strong willed children. We have joked for years that we don't know which is more of a challenge. A child who is strong willed that talks, or the one who is deaf. Watching how God is growing up both kids and the delight they are just goes to show that God is working every moment in the lives of these kids.
These are Ethan's special ribbons. He will not let them leave his special shelf in his room. So I quickly had to sneak them out. He is more humble that his mother is at this time.

Thanks Lord Jesus for the will you have put into this child to do his best work always, knowing that You gave him a terrific mind to learn. He may not always be articulate, he may not always like it when he does not get his way, but he loves to learn and I am so blessed to watch him humbly put his ribbons on his shelf for display. I am blessed that he can give thanks to YOU for making him special and he knows that when he sees you face to face his first voice to ever hear without cochlear implants will be your voice. Ethan thinks that is very cool. Thanks for reading.

An A+ day for Ethan....

For many months, even years now I have understood the anger outbursts from Ethan. The outbursts of frustration. Basically during that fragile language developmental time he was deaf and his only form of communication was pitching fits at the top of his lungs. These have became less and and less, but even so, we have been working hard on Ethan truly getting a hold of new ideas on dealing with his emotions and ditching the old.

I have had countless days of not knowing what to do, or how best to help him along. I guess I adopted the passage of scripture in Galatians that speaks about the fruit of the spirits. It goes like this:

Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

There is not one disclaimer to this passage. Meaning, okay if you are deaf and have problems just dismiss your behaviors and act however you want. I have never dismissed in my hearing children behaviors due to temperament. We are all called to be nice as stated in Galatians. So with that we have been working with Ethan in his attitudes, and his behaviors. Asking him, when a melt down is coming if he is being patient, kind, gentle...etc. etc.

At least once a day often more times than that we will have some kind of issue. This entire week has been a crossing the bridge point for him. He has caught himself about to blow steam, and changing the outcome on his own in a positive manner. I mean in his first breath, realizing he has options for his little life. Making very good choices with how he behaves. All week I have been praising him, thanking him, and encouraging him. He knows he is happier and feeling more in control of his life. He's only six. Some of us don't get that long into adulthood.

Yesterday when he was getting his jammies on, he said..."mommy I have had a really good day today". So I said.."yes you have lets see what made it so good". So together we took inventory and I said "Ethan you have had more than a good day, you have had an A+ day.

Here is what an A+ day looks like for Ethan.

AM
-getting dressed for school on his own,
-eating breakfast without complaining about food choices
-brushing his teeth without being asked.
-Not whining when I say there are only 15 minutes of play before school, but instead saying "okay mommy" and then without any fuss heading to the car without complaint.
PM
-being happy about decisions for how time will be spent after school.
-reciting scripture to his teacher, a week before he has to, for school (Ephesians 6: 10-17)
-eating all his dinner without complaint or whining.
-helping little brothers with Lego's' playing nice with them, and coming to me when being mistreated, rather than taking matters into his own hands...literally.
-reading the entire Green Egg and Ham book without complaining it's too much
-having a true quiet time before bed

Really, this is an A+ day for most kids, but for Ethan even more. He has crossed a bridge this week and my heart just shines with joy in knowing that he is coming along as a deaf kid with the ability to hear with these amazing cochlear implants.

P.S. He did not throw a fit when I chose not to follow the fire engine in the parking lot of the grocery store. He ever so nicely said "mom that makes me feel a little mad". Then in the grocery store we bumped into three fire fighters who took time to answer the questions of all the boys. Twice Eric said to the fire fighter that his brother is deaf, and Ethan said "yes I am deaf, but these things help me hear just fine". I Love being on the sidelines of these conversations.

Ethan, Ethan, Ethan,

Hello are you deaf or what?

Seems odd as his mother to even write or think that, but I have had to stop reading statistics. As of late this kid is about as normal as they come. I use to think that he would not know how to navigate in this world without me. That is so not true.

Today a the park this other six year old was carrying around tic-tac candies. The kind that that shake loud in it's container. Ethan walks up to this kids and ask him what it is. I sat back and observed as this exchange happened. Ethan was concerned that these were "medicines" and it's not okay to take any kind of medicine unless your mother is giving it to you. I was so proud of him. The boy kept pressing that this is just candy, so I did then walk up and explain to Ethan what they were. He tried one and decided a candy that tasted like tooth paste was not candy.

So here I am worried about all the normal things of kids, you know like drugs being past out at parks when I have my back turned for a split second only to realize that Ethan is getting the world.

He is now four weeks into first grade at a private school and learning above his hearing peers. I read the statistics, which have been good in that I am someone who refuses to just settle into this ever being Ethan, but as of late I have stopped. I am a mother of five kids. With that comes instincts beyond what any specialist could ever believe or understand. I still laugh over the fact that had Ethan gone to a public school in kindergarten he would have been placed in special ed because his language was that of a 3 1/2 year old. His brain, well does anyone everyone really know how to test the intelligence of a deaf child or do we really believe because they can not speak clearly they are then destined to that which is lower than what they are capable of. I digress. I still have issues, can you tell, but Ethan well he's amazing in every single way of boyhood. Much a leader, he questions what he does not understand, and he wants to be a drummer and piano player and folks, if you listen a few doors down you can hear Ethan playing the drums on beat.

I know I am a little bit of a mommy bragger at this piont, but if you could know my heart and the fears of years past....I say wow. Who would have known. Follow your heart and what you know to be true of your child. Most of the specialists have not been deaf and they too are following a curriculum for the general population.

Ethan, Ethan, Ethan....you are amazing.

Gaining Confidence

I have read that horses are very theraputic for children with handicaps. Working with them, learning to be safe with them, and riding them build confidence in a child. Emily, Ethan's only sister and older sister grew up with two horses. It grew her in ways that I never imagined and she is a hearing child.

What they say is true. Earlier this spring we went for a walk in the country. Emily walks this route regularly with a friend and with the weather nice we decided to make an afternoon of it with the boys. Ethan shys away from a strange dog, and will not get close. This is a good thing, but I am concerned that he should learn how to at least be safe, so if he were to meet a strange dog unexpected he would know what to do. A horse well forget it. He would not get anywhere near the fence.

Bless Emily's tender heart. She took him alongside and worked with him, to build his confidence in approaching a horse. She talked about how horses show us with thier face, their ears, and the sounds they make what they may be thinking or feeling. By watching and listening we know how to approach a horse. After about a half an hour he came in closer. I knew this was a mommy time to step away and not interfere. As I observed I realized what an incredible challenge this was for Ethan, and how Emily gently talked him closer, each step taking many minutes to take.

After about an hour, Ethan was able to come in close and even feed the horse. He is so proud of himself to have overcome a very healthy fear of this large animal. I am so proud of him. He talks about this moment often, and we have since been back to visit the horses.

Confidence building for our children who are deaf does not always have to come in a word articulated correctly, or perfectly reading a book. All important milestones, but in many other ways too. This was one way. I am going to blow up these pictures and have framed for Ethan's room.

I am really going to just say this unedited. How can we not want our children to hear? How can we really believe that being deaf, not hearing, not being able to interact and meet strangers is okay and normal? Being deaf is not a choice, and Cochlear Implants is an option. During Ethan's birthday party, shared by all three boys, Ethan did not miss a beat. If he did not have Cochlear Implants he would have "adapted" to what is. But why? Why have to just accept and adapt when there is a chance to live a better quality of life.

You can not tell me, a very normal hearing person, who has never been shut off from the world, that being in a room full of friends and not being able to communicate is just your normal if you are deaf. It's adapting and working with what you have, but in reality I can't imagine Ethan not sitting, laughing at all the jokes and silliness he can hear through Cochlear Implants. When he was not hearing he would withdraw, watch, and there was this frustration and sadness in his eyes. He wanted to know what was going on, but could not understand. Being deaf was no glorious condition to embrace.

I have marveled every single day to watch as Ethan plays with his brother's. His leadership skills developed in our home through so much language. Listening to Ethan teaching his younger brother who is two, words, sentences, and songs. It can be argued that this all can be done through signing, but language happens every waking hour, not a class to learn two hours a week.

Ethan talks on the phone once a week to his oldest brother away at college. They talk about airplanes, and school and I marvel to think that this deaf boy is leading a very advanced life. He was smart long before he spoke his first words, but his frustrations, confidence, and ability to communicate limited him, giving him evaluation scores that depressed me. I could see the brilliance in him. He is about to finish kindergarten. He attends the same private school that his older brother and sister attended. He is reading, doing math, and well above average in his school reports. Had Ethan not had the implants I know for a fact this would not be the case. I have started and stopped every single program provided by the state for deaf children. Started with the hope that they would recognize, beyond Ethan being deaf, what a bright child he is, and then stopped when I realized that they saw him with a handicap and for some reason that handicap was attached to his intelligence. The way inwhich they would work with Ethan frustrated him, and then me.

There is more for our children because they are not limited to special classes. I get that for Ethan and I get that he is able to do more. He is becoming the normal for deaf children. It is a gift we provide for our children when they have that option. Would you say no to a child who needed glasses? Of course not? Why would we not offer the ability to hear either?

I was in a store recently and the woman in front of me was deaf. I watched as she tried to commuicate with the clerk and I could see her frustrations. I am so thankful that Ethan is blessed with the ability to hear. Yes he hears. He hears beautifully. He is functioning in a hearing world and it does not matter how he got there. It does not matter then when his devices come off each night and placed on the chargers that he is now deaf because 12 hours of his waking life he hears.

Can you tell I am very passionate about his hearing. I would love to kiss the brilliant man who invented Cochlear Implants and you know what I think my husband would kiss him too. LOL