For many months, even years now I have understood the anger outbursts from Ethan. The outbursts of frustration. Basically during that fragile language developmental time he was deaf and his only form of communication was pitching fits at the top of his lungs. These have became less and and less, but even so, we have been working hard on Ethan truly getting a hold of new ideas on dealing with his emotions and ditching the old.
I have had countless days of not knowing what to do, or how best to help him along. I guess I adopted the passage of scripture in Galatians that speaks about the fruit of the spirits. It goes like this:
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
There is not one disclaimer to this passage. Meaning, okay if you are deaf and have problems just dismiss your behaviors and act however you want. I have never dismissed in my hearing children behaviors due to temperament. We are all called to be nice as stated in Galatians. So with that we have been working with Ethan in his attitudes, and his behaviors. Asking him, when a melt down is coming if he is being patient, kind, gentle...etc. etc.
At least once a day often more times than that we will have some kind of issue. This entire week has been a crossing the bridge point for him. He has caught himself about to blow steam, and changing the outcome on his own in a positive manner. I mean in his first breath, realizing he has options for his little life. Making very good choices with how he behaves. All week I have been praising him, thanking him, and encouraging him. He knows he is happier and feeling more in control of his life. He's only six. Some of us don't get that long into adulthood.
Yesterday when he was getting his jammies on, he said..."mommy I have had a really good day today". So I said.."yes you have lets see what made it so good". So together we took inventory and I said "Ethan you have had more than a good day, you have had an A+ day.
Here is what an A+ day looks like for Ethan.
AM
-getting dressed for school on his own,
-eating breakfast without complaining about food choices
-brushing his teeth without being asked.
-Not whining when I say there are only 15 minutes of play before school, but instead saying "okay mommy" and then without any fuss heading to the car without complaint.
PM
-being happy about decisions for how time will be spent after school.
-reciting scripture to his teacher, a week before he has to, for school (Ephesians 6: 10-17)
-eating all his dinner without complaint or whining.
-helping little brothers with Lego's' playing nice with them, and coming to me when being mistreated, rather than taking matters into his own hands...literally.
-reading the entire Green Egg and Ham book without complaining it's too much
-having a true quiet time before bed
Really, this is an A+ day for most kids, but for Ethan even more. He has crossed a bridge this week and my heart just shines with joy in knowing that he is coming along as a deaf kid with the ability to hear with these amazing cochlear implants.
P.S. He did not throw a fit when I chose not to follow the fire engine in the parking lot of the grocery store. He ever so nicely said "mom that makes me feel a little mad". Then in the grocery store we bumped into three fire fighters who took time to answer the questions of all the boys. Twice Eric said to the fire fighter that his brother is deaf, and Ethan said "yes I am deaf, but these things help me hear just fine". I Love being on the sidelines of these conversations.
No comments:
Post a Comment